My Breastfeeding Journey

Aisyah will be 2 years old this coming 26 Nov 2015. I started breastfeeding her just after I got out from the labor room, it felt amazing and weird at the same time.

Then the night after labor, I kept on breastfeeding her every 4 hours. But after we came back to my mom's house (where I had my confinement days), she kept on crying and sucking my milk like my milk was not enough. She was also crying like mad. To think back, I think there was "something" at my mom's house who disturbed her. Since we couldn't stop her from crying, we went to hospital and she was admitted into NICU for 2 days. During the 2 days, she drank formula milk. I just came during lunch and at evening to breastfeed her.

After she came back home, it was quite a struggle to breastfeed her. We (my husband and I) couldn't find the right position and we were wondering whether she drank enough. Then the nurse came and said she still had jaundice. OMG. We definitely need to make sure she drank ENOUGH milk. So I alternated between direct breastfeeding and bottle fed her. The jaundice reduced to safety level just before she reached 14 days old. Alhamdulillah.

I must say we struggled for almost 1 month just to ensure she latched properly. I believed sometimes she had that nipple confusion too. To be truth, there were times that I almost gave up breastfeeding. Seem like she didn't had enough milk, had trouble finding my nipple, she threw up many times, and that nipple crack and sore. All that lead to frustration and tension. I need to give credit to my husband here because he was really supportive, he googled how to latch properly, help me bottle fed her while I pumped my milk and a lot more. I really appreciate what he did. Thanks sayang.

My mom also kept saying I need to gave her bottle so that she can accept bottle when I started working. So at night I direct fed her but during the day I bottle fed her so that she will get used to it. But soon nearing to the end of my maternity leave, she suddenly rejected bottle. She didn't want bottle at all. Oh my goodness, its like my effort of pumping and bottle fed her before was nothing. Seriously it was tiring practicing giving her bottle because I need to pump, bottle fed her and washed all the bottles. Salute to all EP mom out there. So I guessed for the second baby, I don't want to practice giving bottle to my baby. Let it all come naturally. Haha.

Soon afterwards she can accept drinking milk from bottle because we kept on bottle fed her. Alhamdulillah.

throwback Aisyah when she was 5 months old

Before I started working, I tried to produce some stock of milk. I think my stock was around 80 oz before I started working. How I produced the stock? After I direct fed Aisyah, I will pump. My yield was only 1 oz/pump but I never gave up. Better small than nothing.

At the office, I pumped for three times a day. My schedule was at 10.30am, 1.30pm and 430pm.  It was only recently like when Aisyah was 22 months old, I reduce my pumping frequency to 2 times a day and when she was 23 months old, I stopped pumping. But she still breastfeeding at night. I know for sure it will be difficult to wean her off. I don't want to push it too. I want it to happen naturally, maybe some motivation words to her like saying:

" Bila Aisyah dah 2 tahun, Aisyah dah tak bole nenen, kalau sikit2 je boleh"

I noticed nowadays she didn't asked for nenen as much as before. Alhamdulillah.

Since she started eating, she didn't drink a lot of milk anymore. She used to drink 4 bottles x 4 oz per day during the day, then reduced to 3 bottles x 4 oz, then 2 bottles x 4 oz and  sometimes 1 bottle x 4 oz. It kept decreasing based on her need because she eats quite a lot.

There were times when I couldn't produce milk based on her demand, it happens when she reached 20 months, So I tried giving her formula milk but she rejected it. Then my supply increased back and I can catch up to her demand again. Since now I don't pump anymore, she drinks formula milk during the day.

May Allah ease our journey.

Till then, Assalamualaikum.

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My Labor Experience

I gave birth to my lovely daughter on 26 November 2013. My labor was quite easy than other people's experience I think, thank you ya Allah. I had blood show at 10 am, at that time the pain was not that much. It just a minor waist  pain like when you gonna get period. I was quite calm that time since people said usually first baby you will take like one day of contraction before labor.

But my mom was panic. She went to work that day (yes, I already at my hometown). So during afternoon, she went back and sent me to hospital. I registered with the hospital while my mom parked the car. She also brought my labor beg. Pftt my labor beg was so heavy. I put unnecessary things inside it like clothes. Yes, no need clothes people. At government hospital, they provide you with pink suit. So its easy, no need to wash your clothes afterwards. Hehe.

Okay back to the story. I said to the doctor I already had blood show. The doctor checked the dilation and it was 2 cm. She also asked me what is the gap between my contraction. I didn't even know I had contraction! So she touched my stomach and taught me what is contraction. Whenever I felt pain at my stomach that is contraction apparently. Hehe.

Since everything was settled, they asked me to wait at the labor room to perform contraction stress test (CST) on me. It was from 1pm until 2pm. I was so hungry, I didn't eat my lunch yet. Sob sob. From what I knew, the doctors said my contraction seem convincing. I didn't know what it meant. Haha. So after the CST, they sent me to the ward. In the ward, they were a lot of pregnant lady waiting for delivery. Wow. I was so hungry that time. Suddenly my mom came and brought nasi goreng for me. Her face was so worried. That time my contraction got stronger. I ate only a small portion of the nasi goreng and my mom had to go home to pray and settle something.

I lay down on the hospital bed and waiting for my turn. The ward nurse came to my bed and gave me pink suit for me to change. So I changed my outfit and just wait. It was 330 pm that time. While waiting I ate again another portion of the nasi goreng. Just to ensure I have enough energy to deliver.

My contraction got stronger time by time. I've been reading that drinking Virgin Coconut Oil (VCO) can help your delivery, so I drank a bit. Then the nurse came with form for me to sign. My contraction was so bad I couldn't read what was on the form. I just signed quickly so that the nurse will go away quickly. She also asked me whether I took any minyak selusuh and said to me minyak selusuh is not good bla bla. I just shake my head signalling I didn't take any. Haha sorry nurse. I was so in pain to explain.

People said VCO is like minyak selusuh too. Well I don't know. I just took 3 drops only.

I saw another lady waiting for delivery in front of my bed walking back and forth so calmly. Me on another hand couldn't even breathe properly. I kept changing my position. Sometimes I lay down, sometimes I sat, sometimes I walked. Sometimes I lay aside and breathed using my mouth (people said this can help reduce your contraction, YES it helped a bit).

The contraction got stronger and stronger. I couldn't even checked my phone. My husband ( my husband was still at work in KL fighting with the draftsmen, haha) and my girlfriends messaged me. I just replied to them shortly. The contraction was so strong it shook my whole body.

Suddenly at 515pm, my water broke! So I pressed the help button to call for nurse. I kept on pressing the button since the first press wasn't strong enough. The nurse came and she brought me to small room. The doctor checked my dilation and it was already 6 cm. Wow. So fast. Alhamdulillah.

The nurse then asked me to sit on the wheelchair to bring me to the labor room. My second visit to the labor room and this time for real labor. Gulp. Well I was so in pain that I couldn't think properly. I didn't even feel scared. Yes, not scared people.

So there I was laying on the bed in the labor room while sucking the gas. This gas apparently can help reduce the contraction pain. In my case, it didn't. I was closing my eyes the whole time and couldn't do anything. In the labor room, doctor also checked my dilation just to ensure whether the ward people got it right. But yeah, no checking when the contraction came because it was so painful.

At 6pm, the doctor checked my dilation again and its already full. Its 10 cm. Now is the right time to push. I kept on pushing and pushing with my eyes closed. Pftt. I didn't know why I was like that. Apparently I didn't know the right way to breathe and push. But the nurses kept persuaded me and taught me. One nurse even nagged to me. I was so in pain, I didn't even care. I just want to deliver quickly. They also asked me whether I wanted episiotomy or not. I said no I didn't want. But they gave it anyway. Haha.

So I kept pushing and pushing and suddenly I got the rhythm right. Alhamdulillah. Finally I managed to deliver my baby. I felt so relieved when my baby already out. I didn't even feel the pain when they stitched my episiotomy wound. The staff nurse was very good. She was the one who taught the doctor how to properly stitch my wound. She even pushed out the remaining blood inside my womb.

However, I couldn't hug my baby. They didn't put my baby on my chest. They just show her to me. That's all. Pftt.

After the stitching done, they put me on bed in front of the counter. Haha. Not only me. Other people who delivered too. Don't know why. After they finished checking my baby, they put her beside me and asked me to breastfeed her. It felt so amazing when my baby first sucked her milk. Alhamdulillah. She naturally knew how to suck her milk.

Then we went to the ward. My mom already waiting for me there. My husband? Still on his way. Haha. It was 8pm that time.  15 minutes after that, my husband arrived and he whispered azan to my baby's ears.

Alhamdulillah.

Everything went smoothly. During my pregnancy, everyday I prayed that both me and baby will be safe and she will be a healthy baby. Alhamdulillah praise to Allah who granted it.

I also asked forgiveness from my husband everyday during the last trimester of my pregnancy.

Thank you Allah.

Aisyah was 2 weeks old this time

Aisyah 6 months old

Okay that's all people my story of labor.

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I'm a mom now

Its still feel surreal but I just gave birth last Tuesday 26th November 2013. The day after I wrote previous post. Haha.

A lot of new experiences had happened in between. The contraction, the labor story, night at the hospital, my baby admitted to ward, my baby got jaundice, not having enough breast milk, waking up every 2 hours at night, the breast pump experience, fear of getting the episiotomy stitch infected and a lot more.

I would love to write everything in detail just to make sure everything recorded.

But first, here my baby.

Introducing my baby girl, Aisyah Radhiah.

People said she looked exactly like me. Only my sister said she looked like my husband.  Cant be sure now. Still so early to determine her features follow who the most.

Okay got to go now.

Bye. Assalamualaikum.

More stories coming up later.

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